I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She just used a chaser for red wine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
