Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
