i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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