I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
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I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
