what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize