Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You ruined the universe
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
