I feel like I'm in dance class right now
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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