I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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