there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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