I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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