I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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