sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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