my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
How external is "for external use only"?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
