I love black thongs
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think people are normalizing furries
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
