Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
