is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
