I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
