someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
