Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
