you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
