it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
