Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
