Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize