Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
