Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
