First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
