There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
