They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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