I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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