sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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