and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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