I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
