In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
