Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
