the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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