We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
