Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
