VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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