i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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