i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
