my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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