what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
