you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
