your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
