ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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