Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
