That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize