and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
