i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
