i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
