In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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