Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
