Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
