Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize