she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize