Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
