Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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